You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize