if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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