I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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