How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
