if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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