its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
