Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
only you would photoshop your dick
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Randomize
