I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
