Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
