Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
