do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
