I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
