When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
