and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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