come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
love makes seman taste better
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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