So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
