i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
