Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
That's when you crack a 10am beer
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
