have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
