I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
