you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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