so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
