Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
