Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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