what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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