Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
