im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
