Say something about gay babies.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
