i wish there were pregnant emoticons
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
