just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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