is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
