I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
