Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
