sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
