So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
