so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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