I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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