I'm drive I can fine osifer
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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