You really coming over, don't trick.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
