filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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