she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
