im so drunk with asians
where?
always
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
