i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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