he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My vagina is officially offended.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
