I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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