I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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