pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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