No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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