So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed