Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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