I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.