Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Randomize
Follow @tfln