She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems