Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
