Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
