Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
