Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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