hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
