I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
