Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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