My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
