Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?

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(540): View more from Virginia

she says it's "been amazing lately"

(540): View more from Virginia

i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half

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(516): View more from New York

My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say

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(970): View more from Colorado

There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?

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(503): View more from Oregon

you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?

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(256): View more from Alabama

I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015

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(415): View more from California

yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line

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