Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize